let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
