Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Found your dick twin last night
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk are you?
Completed.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize