It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
