she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
