I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
