hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
