Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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