you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
