he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize