Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Can I color on your dick again?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
