Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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