what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
