Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
