I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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