He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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