"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
