I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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