i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
His nipple licking is glorious
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