Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
smell my finger.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
