yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
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I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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