Are we in a gay sports bar?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
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