Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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