My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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