Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he fucked my hip out of place.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
