Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
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I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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