and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Come share oat with me in your robe
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Who died my cat blue again?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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