You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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