Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
