how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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