Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
