I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
