people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
