"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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