the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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