Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
