Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Who wears a wallet chain?!
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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