Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
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