I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
