i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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