I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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