Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dignity is for republicans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
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