your thong is hanging out like whoa
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
oh yeah. preciate
never play flip cup with pint glasses
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Found the puke drawer
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing