Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?