Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
