Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
oh god the rape fog is back!
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
