yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
