Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
