roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
