He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
