I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize