your parents love me but you hate me
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
