Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
