I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
