She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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