Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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