I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
