you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
