But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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