chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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