these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
