i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize