My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
