i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
