That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
