I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
