There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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