You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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