found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
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So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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