His apartment number was 69. I had to.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
