I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want nice things and good sex
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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