and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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