on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
