that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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