yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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